Traumatised

Although it may lead to her death, Hazel was about to tell Dr Preston what had happened. The only sound she could hear was the deep ticking of the clock placed neatly upon the shelf and the pounding of her thoughts against her skull. Hazel tried to avoid Dr Preston’s eyes as she waited for the right moment to let it all out. ” Come on Hazel, my job is to help people in your situation. ” Said Dr Preston soothingly, ” Nothing bad can happen to you once you’ve told me. Everything you tell me in here is confidential. ”

Hazel took a deep breath wondering where to start. It all started one day when I was surfing the net. At that time I was absolutely fascinated by the strange world of witchcraft. Most of the sites were advertisements trying to get people to buy witch toys or buy the Harry Potter books but one particular site caught my eye. It said, “The Natural World of Witchcraft. ” As I went into the site they asked me whether I wanted to become a member and I gave them all my details with no hesitations. This was probably the worst mistake I had ever made.

They had told me that I wasn’t allowed to mention them to any one. Although I didn’t realise it at the time- I was trapped! At these words Hazel felt a tear fall quickly down the side of her face and settle in her ear. ” Two weeks later, a girl came to my door. She was dressed in a black robe covering every part of her body except her bright green eyes. ‘ Are you Hazel Townsend? ‘ she asked me quickly and quietly. I told her that I was and asked who she was. ‘I’m Orenda,’ she snapped. ‘Come with me and don’t ask questions. ‘ I was very confused but I still walked rapidly down the street with her in silence. At the end of the street, I spotted a huge black van with tinted windows.

As we came closer to the van, a man sitting in the passenger seat rolled his window down half way. ‘Hurry up’ he said in a low but firm tone and he rolled his window back up again. ‘Get in the back,’ Orenda told me, ‘and don’t ask questions,’ she repeated. I stepped into the van and noticed two other women dressed like Orenda and three boys who looked like they were in their early twenties. Two of the boys were bald and had tattoos all over their chest, arms and head- those were the only parts of the body I could see but the third boy had dark brown spiked up hair and only one tattoo on his upper right arm saying, ‘Kimberly’.

Every one stared at me as if I was doing something wrong. I just pretended not to notice until one bald headed boy said, ‘Orenda! Didn’t you give the girl the robe? ‘ ‘ Do I really have to wear one’ I asked innocently. This made the boy break into rage, he stood up and screamed at me, ‘Women do not question our ways! I am disgusted at your tone! Take the robe but I doubt you are worth even the robe. Maybe we should make you wear nothing for the initiation. Boys what do you say? ‘ At his words he started sweating and his veins were bulging from the surface of his skin. ‘

Just give her a chance, Gavin. Said the boy with the spiked hair. He chucked a robe at me and smiled. I thought he was too sweet to be in this group, around these sorts of people. I started to put this robe on over my shirt until Gavin said, ‘Nobody wears clothes under the robe, it is the only thing worn over the natural body. ‘ I wanted to ask him whether that meant that I was supposed to strip right there and then in front of them and put my robe on but I was too scared to ask any questions after the previous uproar. I decided that that was the only thing he could have meant and he made himself quite clear.

I tried to hold the robe up in front of me as I took off my clothes and tried to keep people from seeing me naked. The robe was stubborn and every time I held it up, it would fall into a thin strip vertically down my body. The strangest thing, though, was the way in which the people around me reacted to my actions. They all stared at me but didn’t say a word. They were acting as if I were doing something normal by stripping in the back of a van. Once I had finally got the darn robe on I squashed myself between Orenda and another lady dressed in black.

I spent the rest of the journey trying to figure out the background to the strange boy with the spiked hair. Suddenly we came to a stand still and Gavin shouted, ‘Ready for your initiation, girl! ‘ he started laughing loudly and his bald head companion joined in but once again the spiked haired boy didn’t find it amusing, though, this time he said nothing. As I stepped out of the van, I saw a huge black gate with vines growing up it.

The gate prevented you from seeing anything inside it and it had a sign on it reading, ‘Electric fence- beware! I followed the six other people through the gate but the spiked haired boy slacked off behind them and started walking next to me. ‘Don’t be scared and do whatever you’re told,’ he whispered softly in my ear. ‘It is only when you don’t do what you are told that they kill you. ‘ ‘Kill me? ‘ I exclaimed in a loud whisper that caused Orenda to quickly turn round and give me a suspicious glance. ‘Shh,’ he told me, ‘I said they won’t kill you if you do what they say, even if it seems like they are going to kill you. ‘ ‘Ok. ‘ I replied trying to keep my tears back.

Suddenly he grabbed my hand and pulled me softly behind a nearby tree. He moved my hair behind my ear and stared deeply into my eyes, ‘I won’t let anything happen to you, Hazel. I promise. ‘ I nodded my head and asked, ‘What’s your name? ‘ he said it was Craig and then said, ‘We better go or else we’ll lose them. ‘ I was totally confused. I didn’t know what was happening, where they were taking me or why. We soon reached a small door and squeezed through the opening leading to a narrow, wet tunnel. As I walked down the tunnel there was a little spot of bright, orange light that got bigger the closer I got to it.

I stepped out of the tunnel and saw the worst sight ever. In front of me I saw a huge circle of fire with naked women dancing round it and singing a song in a different language. It was like some sort of tribe but with people of all different races and types. The walls were made of stone. The room was huge, about the size of a football stadium. High above the fire was a balcony built into the wall and on that balcony stood the same bald boys that were in the van with me. Next to me I saw pile of robes taller than me and a sign next to it reading, ‘thank you for placing your robe on the pile. ‘ That place was sick!

I felt like throwing up. The women dancing around the fire were laughing and seemed to be enjoying themselves. I couldn’t understand why. Were they brainwashed? Didn’t they see anything wrong with what they were doing? As I looked up, I realised Craig had left me and I saw him standing there with Gavin and his companion. I started to walk to the fire until an embarrassing voice boomed across a loud speaker, ‘Please place your robe on the pile. ‘ I remembered what Craig told me, ‘Do whatever they tell you and you won’t be killed. ‘ I pulled my robe off and stood watching the fire for a while.

I moved my eyes from the fire to above the fire and saw a thick pole with two puppies and a big dog tied to it. At the sight of this I couldn’t stop myself I broke down into tears. I fell to the floor and screamed and screamed. There I lay naked, nobody knew where I was and I was in a cult that burnt dogs and who knows what they did to young girls. I had nothing better to do. ‘Please join the celebration! ‘ said the loud speaker. I didn’t move. ‘Please join the celebration! ‘ repeated the loudspeaker. I slowly got up, still crying and walked towards the fire and copied the dance that they were doing.

We danced for about an hour and I cried throughout the hour. It felt so much like a nightmare and I hated the fact that I knew it wasn’t. ‘We have a new member, Hazel, my lovely mistresses! ‘ blasted the loudspeaker. All the women stopped dancing round the fire and started shouting, ‘Initiation! ‘ repeatedly, staring at me. ‘All right, all right! I guess that means, Hazel, that it is time for your initiation. Your initiation consists of many things. Firstly, you will need to take hold of the fire extinguisher next to you and put out the fire. He stopped there and I didn’t move.

‘Well, do it! ‘ I recognised the loudspeakers voice. It was Gavin. I picked up the fire extinguisher and sprayed the fire soaking all the women standing around it. ‘Right,’ Gavin said. ‘Now pick the knife up from the floor and walk up to the three dogs using that ladder. ‘ Everyone was watching me but I didn’t feel so self conscious about not wearing anything because everyone else was in my position what I was worried about was the way everyone was staring at me and it was so quiet that every move I made echoed throughout the room.

I did what I was told and stood on the top of the ladder looking at the cute dogs tied to the pole I felt so sorry for them just being tied up let alone for what Gavin was about to tell me to do. ‘Now slit the cute mummy dogs throat, Hazel! ‘ and all the women applauded like I had won the Olympics. I simply couldn’t do it. ‘I can’t,’ I whispered and yet everyone heard. ‘Well, you do have another option,’ boomed Gavin, ‘you could lose your virginity to the three of us! So what do you pick? ‘ I thought about this and I could not kill the dog, I just couldn’t so I had to pick option number two.

I would rather harm myself than do anything to those innocent dogs. There were two bad things that could happen. One, I could get aids. Two, I could get pregnant. ‘The second option. ‘ I announced as I walked back down the ladder. I was petrified. I had no idea what was going to happen to me after I had completed my task. Were they going to let me return home or were they going to turn me into the one of the naked women? ‘I see! Craig, roll the dice to see who gets her first. ‘ demanded Gavin to Craig on the loud speaker. I waited praying that it would say Craig. So Craig, what does it say? ‘

‘Gavin. ‘ Said Craig softly. ‘Come on up to my parlour Hazel you shall have the time of your life tonight! ‘ I tried to push my fears right to the back of my brain becoming more and more confident and walked up to his ‘parlour’ as he called it. All the women did that stupid cheering again. When I got to the top of the stairs I found a door saying, ‘Gavin’s parlour. ‘ I opened it and it was dark with posters of people killing animals and children being raped. I was still naked but hardly noticed it until I saw him standing there naked.

He laughed at me and said, “so young and pure, but not for long! ” He laughed again but this time it was much louder. I stood at the door wondering if I could turn back but I knew I had nowhere to go. I simply stared at him and started to feel a bit nauseous. He walked towards me and grabbed hold of my hair and flung me on his king-sized bed. “Ouch! ” I screamed. “Stop! Please stop! You’re hurting me! ” “Don’t be stupid girl, this was your own choice. ” I cried, screamed and tried to hurt him as much as I could but the situation was hopeless. ‘ It’s Craig’s turn next.

Go to his room. ‘ I walked down the corridor in pain both physically and emotionally. On a door it said, ‘Craig’s parlour. ‘ I liked Craig a lot, he seemed so nice and he wasn’t bad looking either. I wanted to see Craig I thought that he would make me feel better. The way he spoke to me on the path earlier made me have feelings for him. Although I wasn’t sure what sort of feelings they were I knew that they weren’t bad and I felt rather secure around him. I walked in the room and saw candles lit all over and the bed was clothed with a pink bed cover. It was beautiful.

He stood there; his hair still spiked, with his trousers on, no shirt, a big silver chain hanging from his neck and a bunch of deep, red roses in his arms. I couldn’t stop myself I just had to smile and I nearly cried tears of joy, I felt like he had saved me from something awful and I just wanted to run to him and give him a huge hug. Instead I stood smiling and feeling relieved. ‘Hazel. ‘ He said softly, ‘I’m sorry. ‘ And he handed me the roses. ‘Sorry? ‘ I asked. ‘Terribly sorry! ‘ he added. He moved closer to me and started kissing me. I had almost forgotten what had happened with Gavin and I kissed Craig back.

We moved onto the bed and I undid his trousers. We lay there quietly and looked into each other’s eyes. ‘Craig, you said you were sorry for something earlier. ‘ I told him, ‘what was it? ‘ ‘I know when I say this it is going to spoil everything between us. I brought you here. ‘ He said. ‘What do you mean? ‘ I asked him. ‘ Since you were ten I’ve been obsessed with you. I know everything about you. I’ve been stalking you. I brought you here so that this would happen. I knew you wouldn’t kill the dog but I thought the dice would land on me- it usually does first. I am so happy I got to get so close to you.

You mean the world to me. I wanted to make you think that I saved you and I would be the hero but I decided to tell you now because I don’t think its fair on you. Basically, Gavin, Carl and I started this cult when we finished high school, which was two years ago. We brainwashed the women into worshipping us but I didn’t do it because I wanted to. I just joined with them because they are the only people in the world that I have. My parents died, ages ago and I have no other family left and I live on you. I always know where you are and what you’re doing. I’m totally in love with you, Hazel. ‘

‘Take me home! I demanded ‘Take me home right now! If you loved me so much you would never have put me through all this. Not only did I have to sleep with you but I had to sleep with Gavin and see al those mad women dance around those poor innocent dogs! What are you going to do now Craig, eat the dogs? You make me sick! ‘ ‘Ok I’ll take you home,’ said Craig softly. ‘And I am really sorry. ‘ He took me through a certain door next to his bed and we both walked to the black gate in silence. It was dark and cold and I had no clothes on. He drove me back home and parked down at the end of the road where they picked me up.

He pulled me up close to him and kissed me again but I pulled away. I walked back down the road not noticing that I was naked and all the passers by had clothes on. I was too busy thinking about Craig. I was still confused. A month later, I found out that I was pregnant at fifteen years old. So I came to you to ask if you can help me because I have no idea which of the two is the father and I also have no idea how I am going to tell my parents. Craig told me not to tell anyone because his friends are capable of anything. If anyone spoils their cult they will most probably be killed!

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